Avoid meeting new people....

How to Stay Single (Without Really Trying) - Tip #4

• Avoid meeting new guys. 

Three specific strategies come to mind: 

        A. Definitely don't introduce yourself to anyone new. It might lead to a conversation which might lead to more.

        B. Don't respond to any attempted communication on dating sites you happen to be signed up for. 

        C. Don't get to know anyone (married, single, male or female) at church because THEY might inevitably introduce you to someone.

I'm guilty of all three. When there's a new guy in any social circle, I wait for them to introduce themselves, which inevitably they don't.

I also have just gotten sick of “communicating” on the dating sites. I'll find nit-picky things about their profile that I won't like, so I won't respond. After a few months of this, admittedly I went ahead and  simply deactivated any online accounts for the time being just to get some space.

In the past year, it's been hard given my schedule to “settle” in at a church and/or get to know anyone. So it's been real easy to not meet someone new. :)

Also. Progress report. It's June. So far so good! ;-)

FREEDOM!!...

How to Stay Single Without Really Trying - Bonus Tip #2

• Be aware of how awesome it is to have freedom.

Should I find myself with a weekend free, there's nothing stopping me from simply hopping in my car and driving anywhere I want. 

I know I'll miss those days. 

So for now, I cherish them. :) 

Be Yourself...

How to Stay Single (Without Really Trying) - Tip #2

• Be Yourself.

I'm treading a fine line here, but bear with me, and I'll see if it can make sense.

(Warning: a little more “personal” post than my usual)

I've spent most of my life single. I sometimes find myself saying “If I were different....I'd be different”. Trite. But true. (Usually I say this when I find myself wishing I could take the “easy road”)

I recently came to the realization that one of the reasons I'm single is because I am “myself”.

Here are some of the top reasons I feel “myself” has kept me single most of my life.

Being Myself #1

As I've stated before, I've remained single not from a desire to NOT date, but rather a desire to date the RIGHT men who could be marriage potential.

It would be so easy date for the sake of dating. To lead guys on so I have someone who cares about me. Who'll hold me when I'm hurting, who'll buy me things, and make me laugh.

But I don't. Because 

A. I want to guard my heart. 

B. I don't want to hurt anyone else unnecessarily. 

C. I think it's stupid.

Being Myself #2

I'm quirky.

1. I have a strange nervous breathing habit
2. I snort occasionally when I laugh
3. I say “Poop” and “Stink” and random nonsensical words in place of swearing.
4. I am “too nice”
5. I sing. A lot.
6. I don't burp. Instead I make random internal noises and/or strange hiccup sounds

I'm sure there are others, but admittedly I have been told in the past by some males that most of the above were “annoying”.

Being Myself #3

I'm picky.

Sometimes I wish I were less-so. But, at the same time, I've waited this long. I don't want to settle.

Being Myself #4,5,6

On top of those there's also my values and beliefs which are definitely uncommon in today's society, my current nomadic existence, and the fact that I've tried the online dating thing and now I'm sick of it. All of these factors contribute to my theory that “being myself” is keeping me single.

I believe I know other girls who may be able to relate. I'm sure location and circumstances, and their own quirks make them feel like “being themselves” isn't helping in the “dating” world.

But here's the thing. “Being myself” as a way to stay single will only (Lord willing) last so long. Eventually, (again, Lord willing), someone will come a long who likes me for exactly who I am/in spite of who I am. And I, will like him back.

And that's when “Being Yourself” becomes Tip #1 for “How to get a boyfriend without really trying”.

So obviously this is not “full-proof”. But it IS a tip for staying single until a decent, dateable guy comes a long.

Ultimately, in the end, I'd much rather be the person God created me to be than try and change just to have a boyfriend.

Hopefully you feel the same way.

Hang in there.

We'll make it.

BONUS: This article encouraged me. Perhaps it will encourage you also: 

Ships that pass in the night...

UPDATE – it's been over a month since my last post. Never fear, still no relationship change. It's nearly April, which means, I'm ¼ of the way through my “resolution”. So far so good!

Today's tip:

How to stay single without really trying – Tip #21

• Be a “shipper”.

For those who are un-aware of this term, a “Shipper” is a person who advocates for someone's relationship. Usually in television, movies or books. Usually a romantic relationship. Sometimes just friendships, but, generally, you cheer for a certain couple to “get together”. AKA – Freak out about them.

Basically, they're your “emotional outlet”. You get so invested in THEIR relationship, you have no time to even contemplate having one of your own. Slash, if some prospect comes along, you don't take it because you're waiting for it to be as “awesome” as the fictional relationships.

You can take it one step further and create “Shipper videos”.

(For the record....I have NOT created one (yet). I have ideas, but basically too lazy to actually create one. I will admit to spending a considerable amount of time WATCHING shipper videos....which....is also “pathetic”. But I contend NOT AS BAD as the ones who make them. ;-)) (No offense to anyone who actually makes them. Without you making them, what would I watch at 2 AM?)

Of course I had to go look up some of my favorites so I could provide examples. ;-)

Parker/Hardison - Leverage

Mary/Matthew - Downton Abbey

Barney/Robin - How I Met Your Mother

There are so many other couples....but this provides you with a taste of different types. And different types of song/editing choices.

I could go into what makes a good shipper video versus a mediocre one. But, I think you get the point. 

Expectations

How to Stay Single (Without Really Trying) - Tip #3

• Have (Probably) Unrealistic Expectations

I would like a man who embodies all of the following (in alphabetical order): 

Pierce Bronsan

 

Dick Van Dyke

 

Zac Efron

 

David James Elliot

Nathan Fillion

 

Harrison Ford

 

Tom Hanks

 

Neil Patrick Harris

 

Hugh Jackman

 

Matthew McConaughey

 

Dan Stevens

 

David Tennant

 

 

SPECIAL MENTION

 

Mr. Bates from Downton Abbey

 

Aaron Pierce from 24

 Clay Aiken’s Voice

  

 Admit it girls. You have a list. A list like this one, and/or a list of “qualities” you’re looking for.  (Admittedly, I have both ;-)) Sure, the names may vary for you, but, you get the point.

[In all seriousness, I’m still working out whether this is a completely unrealistic list ((Face it Sharon, it probably is)), or if maybe this type of guy actually exists and actually would want to spend his life with me.  Where’s the line between “unrealistic expectations” and “settling”? ]

But back to the point at hand: If you want to stay single, have ((probably)) unrealistic expectations. But don’t think of them as unrealistic, and you’ll stay single without even trying. ;-)

BONUS TIP: Publish your “list” publicly. I imagine it’d scare most guys away. (Like this post no doubt will. ;-))

 

Also: Happy Valentine's Day!

Boquet Toss

How to stay single (without really trying) - Tip #9

• Avoid the Bouquet

I genuinely enjoy weddings. Especially when attended by a lot of friends. However, I will pronounce publicly that I am not a fan of the bouquet toss.  I used to be terrified of it....now I'm just apathetic.  Confession: I have hid in a bathroom in the past to avoid it.

The whole superstition: "whoever catches it is the next to get married" and the inevitable teasing and/or sometimes pairing up with the guy who catches the garter...freaks me out. Which is ridiculous. I know that. But, (to quote You've Got Mail) "I. can't. help myself"

So, when the bouquet toss is anounced, I do go up with the mob of single girls. (I've been yelled at enough to know I should go if only to avoid the wrath of friends). But I make no effort to catch the hurling floral arrangement.

Case in point: went to an wonderful wedding this weekend. Filled with great friends. The bouquet toss was announced. I even grabbed the hand of a close friend of mine saying "C'mon. I hate this, but we gotta go." We stand in the back to get as far away as possible.  But wouldn't you know it, the bride had an arm, so it went flying to the back, litterally whizzing past my face and falling to the floor. Only inches from me. And I just stared at it.

"I'm not picking that thing up!"

Disclaimer: I don't want to make anyone who either chooses to do a bouquet toss, or the girls who ENJOY going for the bouquet, feel bad in any way. I applaud you. Brides: for doing doing what you want to do on your wedding day, and Single Girls: for enjoying, and being excited about catching that bouquet.  (I don't understand you). But I applaud you. :)

The bouquet was picked up in excited fashion by another good friend of mine. (You go girl!)

So: by avoiding the boquet toss you avoid:

A. getting maried next
B. getting paired up with another single guy
C. teasing
D. a bunch of flowers

Helping to keep your "single" status. (At least until the next wedding).


PS - I'm thinking (should I ever get married) of throwing chocolate. Chocolate is something I could get excited about.

Public Solitude

How to Stay Single (Without Really Trying) - Tip #20

• Comment Audibly on the iPhone Game You're Playing in Public

A couple of weeks ago I was getting the oil changed in my car. Usually I like to leave and go amuse myself by shopping and/or eating. However, I returned too early and was "forced" to wait in the waiting room while they finished with my car.  

So, I did what most people do now-a-days (since I was already caught up on my fb news feed). I played my current favorite game "Collapse Blast". (get it. it's fun)

Whilst playing it I was unable to stop the barrage of comments coming out of my mouth.  Mostly "Poop!".  

True Story.