"But he never saw me there"

How to Stay Single (Without Really Trying) - Tip #24

From Anonymous:

• Be Eponine.

Sure most of the guys actually prefer her to Cosette, but as Eponine, you're in love with the guy who never sees you there. The guy who only sees you as a “friend”. The guy who falls for every other girl except you: Friend. Enemy. Frienemy. Sister. Cousin. Waitress. Taxi Cab Driver.

Since you're in love with the unattainable guy, chances are good you'll stay single.

But hey. As Eponine, 90% of the audience prefers you to the other girl. You get the better songs, and you finally get your moment with him. Sure you die, but at least he's holding you.  

YouTube Videos

How to Stay Single (Without Really Trying) - Tip #7

• Make videos like this.

Self-explanatory.

....I'm probably going to regret posting it.....

(Update 10:15, Jan 15 - YouTube pulled the sound....which makes the video look even MORE ridiculous. HA. Will work to upload a different way and/or just remove entirely. I mean, it could be a good thing) :)

Falling

How to Stay Single (Without Really Trying) - Tip #12

• Face plant publicly.

In particular:

A. At Zumba class. (While dancing. Yes. THAT happened)
B. In front of your auditioners. (Skinning your knee and ripping your shoe)

I can announce I got the gig (performing in a Cabaret.  FB invite to come ;-)).  They told me last night, but I received this in an email today: "It was great meeting you yesterday. We "fell" for you just as much as you fell for us....lol"

HA HA.

I got the gig. But there's no way either of those falls were "attractive" 

This is my life. :)

Sneezing - Insight from a Single Male

How to Stay Single (Without Really Trying) - Tip #23

• Sneeze obnoxiously loud in public

Today's tip comes from a single male who shall remain anonymous.  He was in line, and a cute girl was behind him. He turned to look at her, she smiled at him, and then she proceeded to sneeze "the loudest sneeze", and so he quickly averted his eyes. Romance over.

I for one know I am prone to sneeze loudly. 

Thus, if you wish to remain single, work on upping the volume on your sneezes, ladies! :)

Roadtrip!

How to Stay Single (Without Really Trying) - Tip #19

• Solo Roadtrip! - Spend the entire day in a car by yourself.

There are perks to traveling alone. You can:

1. Listen/not listen to whatever you want
2. Talk to yourself
3. Laugh/cry to your heart's content 
4. Sing loudly
5. Have a Dance Party!
6. Not worry about having to turn around (twice) because you missed your exit(s). No one noticed. You didn't inconvenience anyone else. Sure you just added 30 mins to your trip. But whatever.